12:38 PM
I turned 30 yesterday.
It's uncomfortable I wasn't comfortable at 27, either. I remember having a really hard time when I turned 27 and I couldn't place why. I still can't place why. I can't place why I'm uncomfortable turning 30, either. Is it because it took so long to get me where I am now? Because everything always says you should do college at 18 and you should have a career and a house and a life at 25 and when you hit 30 you should feel fulfilled and happy and successful?
I mean, I obviously know this is bullshit, but there's something that just feels weird about it.
Is it because my mentality is stuck somewhere between a giggling fangirl and an adult that doesn't have time for bullshit? Is it because I tout the concept of 'you're only as old as you feel' and I don't feel old AT ALL but the number betray that and sometimes I feel really awkward trying to make friends with people at school because they're a decade younger than me. I know that's ridiculous, since I have friends of all ages already and everyone matures differently and all that shit.
And 30 isn't old. 30 is, maybe one third of your life. That's not much at all.
Like I said, it's hard to put into words. It's just a subtle discomfort on some weird existential level. I felt it at 19. I felt it at 27. I feel it now at 30. It'll pass and I'll probably go back to forgetting my age and telling people I'm 'twenty-something' when they ask anyhow.
But enough about my weird existential crisis.
Yesterday was nice! We didn't do anything special or anything, but Tony and I went to the movies with some local furries and it was pretty great! We went to see Jurassic Park 3D, which still looks amazing twenty years later. We had a lot of fun chatting and we're hoping to do movie nights more often. Hell, I'll go see bad movies for cheap if we can all laugh about them afterwards.
But it's nice to be meeting new people and making new friends. Especially for Tony. He was really proud of himself yesterday because he handled his anxiety so well and, like he mentioned later, it's nice to be around people who don't look at you weird when you tell them you have social anxiety or agoraphobia or are transgender or whatever.
Then, I found Kahlua custard at Acme and yes.
Also, Bob bought me a Monoprice tablet after - out of nowhere - asking what I'd like of my Amazon wishlist (which was a clusterfuck at the time). He mentioned having a Bamboo if I would like a new tablet, but it was the same size as my decade old Graphire. So I suggested the Monoprice tablet because it's inexpensive and, well, there you go. It's was supposed to be here today, but unless it's coming by something other than USPS, it'll probably be here tomorrow, as there was no package on the porch. But I'm looking forward to it! It's 6x10, which is about double the size of my Graphire and has shortcuts on the tablet and everything.
Unrelated to my birthday and sundry, I'll be back at the Bookstore at the end of the month. Hopefully I can transition my hours smoothly, since I'll be done at VCD after finals week, I think, and then I'll just have to figure out my summer library hours.