oh, mama raised me well

semi-busy month, furrest city fur con happened about halfway through! plus lots of cats and clouds lol

[wheeze]

WE HAD OUR SECOND YEAR OF FURREST CITY FUR CON THIS YEAR AND HAD 591 ATTENDEES!!!!!!!!



which is a 3x increase from last year, where we had just under 200 attendees! we were in a much smaller space last year and really had to limit the bodies in that space, but between general convention promo, anthrohio shifting their picnic so we didn't both fall on the same day like last year, all the meets throughout the year furrest city does in cleveland, etc., etc., it's no surprise our numbers jumped so drastically!

we were held at cleveland state student center, right near playhouse square, so the theme was broadway or-- ~on pawdway~

i rode up to cleveland with delusionaldeer (and their friend who's name i don't remember now), since my original ride (kovrick) had a schedule change that worked out well for him, but i was NOT gonna have him drive down to akron and then back up to cle when he could use that to get an extra hour of sleep (night shifts). drive was nice (chatted a lot), but rainy, and thankfully parking was not too much of a pain

we did a very fun little skit for opening ceremonies where i played a time-traveler from the 1996 confurence east convention (that was held in cleveland!) - i was, coincidentally, dressed pretty period accurate, too lol (wide leg jeans, crop top, flannel lol)






some screencaps from opening ceremonies - video taken by thegothbear


the venue was pretty nice! spacious enough for us to accommodate people well, plus some balconies we were able to use, and the student center was MOSTLY empty all weekend, so folks could hang out on the first floor - also where we did the fursuit photo




downside of the student center was absolutely lame-ass food options (chick-fil-a and sbux and an all-you-can-eat campus place that everyone said was mid at best) with sucky hours (the sbux wasn't even open on saturday!), but there was an indian place everyone raved about cattycorner across the street (i didn't make it over to it all weekend lol), a subway in the other direction, and some other food places scattered around within, like, a 10min walking distance, so it wasn't too bad to find something to put in your belly.

the cleveland weather fought with us a bit - it was forecast to be rainy, so we did end up nixing the outside walks (at the advice of our weather skunk, mezo) and the fursuit parade, but around the time they were scheduled, the weather would let up and it was mainly just cloudy! something, something, if you don't like the weather just wait five minutes

i spent a lot of time just zipping around and being out on the con floor and catching up with people and yapping and stuff (ESPECIALLY about world of darkness and some destiny stuff with satre!!!!). we established con ops this year, so kezl and i swapped out as needed with that. i threw a lot of little notes in my keep for stuff for next year for con ops to possibly have on hand - fursuit repair supplies, pads/tampons (there were NONE in any of the restrooms in the student center OR the one nearby hall i went looking thru!!), folders or something for paperwork (volunteer forms, incident reports, minor forms, etc.). easy things to acquire throughout the year that aren't pricey, as well

i also finally got to meet and chat with ajahli and devillo!! we've been following each other online for awhile now and have chit-chatted between bsky and discord and stuff before, but haven't crossed paths in person. ajahli showed off their sketchbook to me and i gushed over it - everything she draws is so cute and i love the way they do kinda collage-y/scrapbooky kind of vibes. it was so nice to yap with her lol

at some point saturday there was discussion about getting smoothies, which was axed b/c i went to check pulp's website to see what they had and discovered they CLOSED AT THREE PM????? and it was, like, 6pm when we were closing up reg, so that was a no-go. HOWEVER, there's a ben & jerry's right down the road, so we made the little trek there and i got a delicious honey graham latte scoop and i wish they sold this in pints b/c it's SO good



saturday night i crashed at socks + buzz's place (iirc lol names are hard sometime) on a super cozy couch and got to meet and play with their ratties for a bit!

i didn't go to hardly any panels, but on sunday i DID go to recess (run by staticprisms and halfofacat or y2kute) and had a BLAST playing parachute games with folks



we DID make it to pulp (before 3pm lolol) on sunday and i got a pumpkin pie thing (pulp pumpkin blend, new coco whip, soy milk, yogurt, and bananas), which was ALSO delicious lol



i didn't buy too much, but i got a lot of stickers and a zine trade (and left a lot of zines and stickers around!) plus two plushes from mint (BAB ocicat kitty and folkmanis ant glove puppet)! - my big purchase was the 'squeak-o-ween' possum from zero remnants and i snagged a patch and sticker from deartigerco. thankfully for my wallet there wasn't anything aside from the possum i desperately needed to come home with me - but the vendor selection was A+ again this year and the room was always bustling when i popped in



before kovrick and i left for the evening, we popped in the dead dog dance and ke$ha pulled me onto the floor and then, as we were heading out of the dance, i heard the beginning to 'shake it off' and taylor pulled me back in from the hallway lol. feral about pop being played at furcons b/c it's so fun to dance to and sing, but so many furries want techno of some variety instead [insert eyeroll emoji here lol]

before we left cleveland, we hit up barrio nearby (i hadn't been) and i had a very good taco bowl and queso and salsa and we ended up being there longer than expected b/c kovrick's second taco never arrived??? and then the kitchen took FOREVER to make another??? AND THEN WHEN I LOOKED IN MY TAKEOUT BAG (got stuff for tony) IT WAS IN WITH MY SIDES??????????????????? so now i have a shawarma taco to eat lolol

but, yeah, the con was good. i had a lot of people come up to me to thank me for the work i do with the ohiofurs social media/meets calendar, to ask me about zine stuff, to just be like 'hey i appreciate what you do and i like seeing you around online it's great to finally meet you', which just feels good, y'know? it feels good to be part of a community

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my ONLY weekend gripe was that i bounced over to koko bakery (the asian bakery in asiatown, which was SUPER close) TWICE over the weekend and they were WIPED OUT of buns and pastries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i got two buns on saturday and stopped at tink holl and got some other snackies (salted vanilla pocky, spicy shrimp chips, chicken & herb pretz, scallop soy sauce pretz) and on sunday i got a whole THREE buns, but stopped at park-to-shop and got some other stuff (pumpkin pie pocky, peppermint pocky, my beloved sponge cake with the thin layer of butter in the middle, etc). so i was pretty bummed about not being able to bring home a big bag of buns from koko's. but i also went at weird times, which didn't help the situation lol

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and, finally, a couple pics from my outings

i always think there's nothing going on in august, and then i have geekfest and pride and a bunch of things happening

july was pretty busy in a lowkey way?? anthrocon, quite a bit of biking out and about and enjoying the nice weather (minus the couple days we had that canadian wildfire smoke happening)

feeling like rambling

post-surgery healing has gone well. i'm pretty much all healed up aside from some of my abdominal wall muscles still getting situated. i had one last week where i could FEEL the stitch pulling when i moved certain ways and that was Weird, but now it's just dull if i move weird, which is an improvement. but healing was pretty easy and i've been able to eat normally and it doesn't really feel like much has changed from before my surgery, which i'm thankful about lol

i've been in a funk this latter half of the month b/c we're coming up on a year since bud died, which isn't the important thing, but it HAS also been about a year since the last time my mom and i hung out before everything hit the fan, and i've been feeing some type of way about it - mostly mad, but also sad. we did a lot of summer stuff together (fairs, swimming, driving around, etc., etc) so summer's been really bittersweet this year

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i biked out to kent last weekend, since i wanted to hit up the farmer's market (and get some safe produce lol). i forget how much of a slog most of the ride is - it's not that it's bad, it's a very nice bike trail and about the halfway point is tallmadge circle, so can stop and eat or whatever, but the rest is kind of just............nothing to really look at or stop and check out, just trail and woods, so it's kinda boring and seems like the hour takes longer than when i take the towpath up to szalay's or something and stop at all the trailheads or to check out the marsh and stuff

the ride back feels surprisingly fast, though, dunno what that's about lol



but it was nice (and also bittersweet!!!! because i think the last time i was in kent was also WITH MY MOM) to putz around downtown. i miss living in kent a lot, but it's SO expensive now and i also have a job i love in akron, so i'm putting up with it lol (seven years later)

did finally get to use the new bridge and switchback at the middlebury road trailhead! it was, uh, fun to ride down with my squeaky brakes lol, but much nicer than using the roadway with no bike lanes and sharp curves that the cars come around! lots of wildflowers along the new paths, too

i am fuckin' exhausted



we carpooled with local friend, tutone. did a bunch of tetris-ing in their vehicle, but we managed to fit everything and all three of us. drive out was quite nice, stopped at the turnpike plaza near youngstown/warren (i was hoping for a pressed penny, but their machine was broke!!!). tutone dropped us at our hotel (placemakr) before going off to theirs (embassay iirc??).



placemakr was OKAY. great things: a full kitchen with fridge and stove and dishwasher, 2 bathrooms (one with tub, one with only shower), a apt sized washer/dryer unit! kinda annoying things: no room service or any toiletries pre-stocked, the bigger room had a nice dresser and nightstands, but the smaller room just had small nightstands and nowhere else to, like, put your shit lol. we made do with the foldy luggage things and the closet, tho. it's a very short walk over to the westin (as long as they leave the breezeway doors accessible.......) and was pretty quiet. similar vibes to the courtyard in a way! i didn't hate it (and, like, wouldn't complain much anyhow b/c i'm not paying for it....), but will have to remember the cons for next year lol

thursday we just got settled in after we arrived, got our reg and our staff goodies, and wandered around a bit. i also lost my water bottle AT LEAST three times as soon as we got there. left it right on the reg table at one point slhgdg



i lost tony for a little bit in the evening (he was goin' thru it for a little bit and went off for awhile on his own) and popped down to the waterfront to see if i could spot him. but, uh....there's always so many people there lol



friday, i drug my ass down to conops and worked for a couple hours, did a walk through the dealer's room that took me AN HOUR AND FOURTY-FIVE MINUTES and i was only leisurely walking and not looking at every booth!! insane. went back to conops, did another shift, then popped up to the pup panel that tony wanted to attend to see if he made it there. ended up taking the elevator down while he was going up and had to do a circle to get back up there lol

i did get shown the backrooms shortcut to reg, tho......... which was great b/c i had to pop down there a handful of times over the weekend for something or another



i also popped into the art show reception with talyn and kovrick and cajun and kess and had some tasty foodstuffs

i got back up with tony later in the evening and met someone he knows on bsky who also has an ahamkara oc! (one of tony's main alts now is an ahamkara) - they were pretty cool and we all chatted for awhile

saturday was more working, but we ran into rax for a brief moment! in the morning-ish. wildest thing about the con was that the parade and block party got cancelled b/c of the extreme heat + possible severe weather/rain predicted for the general timeframe of both. we had expected a lot more backlash, but the general attendee consensus was 'that's a bummer, but the right thing to do'. so an anthrocon without a parade was very strange! i feel like it made saturday feel very bizarre and incomplete

wandered the dealer's room and my feet were finally Feelin It b/c i did NOT bring a good pair of shoes for walking on the hard-ass floors there. but! bought some stuff lol




i'd been waffling on the possum plush (b/c it was $50!), but tony talked me into it lol . some of this is also trinkets from around the con lol or stickers i'd been given. mintsolstice/tundra brought me the devil possum and then salt/pepper possum shakers!!!! banana for scale was from last years' lost and found leftovers lol

after killing ourselves walking around dealer's, we got some food and went back to the room for a rest. i had to pop back out for my zine trading panel at 7pm, so that's what i did. it was really successful!!! i had counted 40-45~ at one point, and i think probably 60~ people came in total and lots of folks thanked me for hosting the panel! i ended up with a bunch of zines i still need to go through, but folks brought SUCH cool stuff



after my panel, i popped out on the balcony of the dlcc to watch the fireworks (which got pushed back an hour b/c of the weather), then went back over to the hotel and we eventually got up with cajun and hung out for an hour or so bullshitting before we drug our asses back to the room to decompress and get off our feet



sunday was another conops shift, then the ohiofurs meet and greet panel (and i forgot about the furrest city one planned right after it!!!), then we tony made some final purchases


full size, click thru!



then, back to the hotel to finish packing up our stuff and departed with tutone back to ohio around 4pm!






the drive back was nice, aside from the absolute downpour we hit going out of the city. we also learned that there'd been a tornado-warned storm in mahoning county when we stopped at the turnpike reststop and everything inside was shuttered and the 7/11 was cash only b/c they'd lost power and stuff!

overall, a pretty good con. it was nice to be back and it was also nice for my body to be at about 95-98% and i only had a little pain by my big incision from sleeping weird (but i WAS able to finally sleep on my left side finally!!) and i was able to EAT! i had halal and two chicken bacon ranch subs and pop and brownies and cheese at the artist and dealer's art show reception lol

i am very grateful to have two days at home to decompress and relax before going back to work this week x_x

someone set our dumpster on fire wat work, made it out to the howe meadow farmer's market, and had a SECOND week-long hospital stint b/c of acute pancreatitis caused by a gallstone, but THIS TIME they yanked the bitch of a gallbladder out!

okay, so, i meant to make a post, like, ALL last month about being in the hospital or going to the farmer's market or getting out and biking with friends, etc., etc. but i didn't get the chance to b/c i was ALSO prepping for anthrocon and you know how con prep can kind of take over your thought process a little

ANYHOW, hospital at the end of may for acute pancreatitis caused by a gallstone - basically, gallbladder yeeted a stone out, it got stuck in the bile duct that runs thru my pancreas and inflamed the bitch to all hell. went to the nearby ER, waited for hours??? (i was pretty out of it, i don't remember how long we were there. it was late afternoon??? when we went and dark when we left) ended up driving up to stow's ER (same hospital, just a standalone ER, likely to be less busy). puked in a trash can in the waiting room (thankfully empty), immediately taken back and at least given some painkillers. once they got my pain managed, tony went home and in the morning i got transferred to the main hospital back in akron and was basically on oxy and IV dilaudid for nearly a week, along with a liquid/soft foods diet

initially, the GI team wanted to just yeet my gallblader while i was there, but my pancreas was so inflamed that they were worried about doing the operation and complicating things. so it was planned outpatient, i made appointments, i was HOPING i could manage my diet and do the surgery AFTER anthrocon b/c i felt the 4~ weeks after being discharged to the con was probably too short a time for recovery

overall, tho, nurses and dr's were great, i had my own room which is always a perk in the hospital

it took me about a week after discharge to feel 100% again, too x_x

THEN

GUESS WHAT, BITCH

went to bed on the 18th feeling a little grodey. woke up early morning on the 19th feeling even more grodey. was hoping it was just going to be a short episode. managed to get some sleep late in the morning, but woke up early afternoon knowing i needed to go to the ER

I WAS THERE FOR TEN FUCKING HOURS. i kept hoping that i'd get triage'd back b/c i got seen really quickly initially and figured that they could see i was in a few weeks ago for the same issue, but no. i was in the waiting room, rolling around on the ground, groaning and wailing in pain and i truly did not care. get me back there and give me something to help the pain and i can wait however long you need, but until then, the whole waiting room gets to hear my cacophony

but, whatever, eventually i get admitted into an ER room, puke in a puke bag (i'm sure the nurse who ran in to see me not vomiting all over myself was relieved - we were smart and grabbed a couple of those blue puke bags from the house before we left since i'd horked last time b/c of the pain), get some painkillers, and then get left alone until they're able to get me a room upstairs. p sure i managed to sleep a little bit

eventually get a room upstairs (7th floor!), tho it's shared, but at least it was like, split in a way where we both had our own room-sized spaces with double curtains between. shared bathroom, but whatever. there were 3 other patients in the other side of the room while i was there - a nepali woman who had a lot of family come and their chatter in nepali was really soothing to listen to lol; an older black woman named dorethea who's been smoking since she was 7; and a younger girl who worked elsewhere in the hospital who was having some UTI complications. thankfully, all three were good neighbors and didn't listen to their phones or TV too loudly or anything obnoxious

for about four days i was in pain, but eventually i think the stone passed and i had two days of feeling pretty good while i waited for my surgery to get scheduled. tuesday, surgery, gallbladder yeeted, then new, different pain!!! the area where the biggest incision was is where most of my pain has been, off under my left ribcage - i assume it's just a mix of things - the laproscopy, things being moved around inside my torso, maybe the pancreas still being a little irritated, muscle and nerves in general from being cut open. but it's gotten better a little each day since being discharged and i've really only had to just be careful how i move and, uh, stop myself from sneezing or coughing hard. i'm also not allowed to life anything over 10lbs :X

i stayed in the hospital two days after my surgery (it's usually outpatient, but since i had some history lol) because of the pain and got sent home with some oxys when i was able to manage the pain w/o the dilaudid. first couple days home was just sitting upright in bed and resting, trying to walk a bit when i needed to use the bathroom, but overall just chilling out. the last couple days i've been a bit more active. walked up to highland sq on sunday, did a little bit of yardwork (mostly trimming down some wild weeds with the clippers) yesterday and sam came over to mow the lawn and help swap out ac units (the one old one is dying). victor stopped over to get a rundown of cat stuff since he's gonna pop in and check on them on fri/sat

but i'm glad to have it out - i still gotta stick to a lower fat diet change for a little bit until my body adjusts, but i'm realizing there's a lot of stuff i eat/like that's pretty low fat anyhow. so i haven't felt like i'm eating just a bunch of bland bullshit lol

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now, just final prepping for anthrocon!

i had gotten all my zines printed already, thankfully, so i didn't have to worry about that. decided not to bring/fix up my spooky cat b/c i wasn't sure if i'd be in a condition to wear her (i probably could, but she needs too much fussing with her head to wear). we leave thursday morning with tutone and i'm really trying to pack light b/c it'll be three of us in his kia (iirc) and both her and tony have fursuit stuff and i'd LIKE to bring my wedge pillow, but i'm good at packing vehicles, so i'm sure we'll be fine lol

part of me is a little bummed we can't go wed-mon b/c it just makes everything much chiller/easier to be there before the con and then after the con, before the crowds, and after they disperse, but another part of me is glad it's shorter just in case i feel grodey lol

got to see an old friend at alt street market, lots of cats and clouds, lots of biking, and then a week-long stint in the hospital with pancreatitis x_x

two concerts in two months? what are the odds???

tony'd been wanting to see cudi for a long time now, and when livenation did the $30 tickets, we snapped a pair up for his hometown show at blossom (and doubly lucky it's only a twenty minute drive from the house.........sans concert traffic lol)

okay, the traffic wasn't actually THAT bad, all things considered. some time spent sitting on steels corners road going in and some mildly stressful navigating to get directed to accessible parking. the traffic out was a little more annoying b/c it's a much longer wait to get out of the venue itself and THEN the stop and go traffic on steels corners until we got up to state road, then it was nearly empty roads all the way back home!


neat clouds ||| a metal dino at the house across from blossom
we'd left early so we could stop at the asian market on state road and grab a couple snacks, which was a nice pitstop for tony's anxiety around driving and new place and concert full of people (it ended up sold out!). the food rules for concerts at blossom are weird - you can bring one 1gal clear ziplock bag of food/snack per person which, like, actually is a decent amount of snacks, but it felt like packing for a picnic which, like, KINDA??? cause we had lawn tickets

BUTTTT we finessed our way into the ADA lawn seats b/c we inquired about upgrading (since tony read some venues were doing that to fill in seats) and they kind of sent us back and forth between guest services and the ushers and eventually one of the supervisors was like 'i'll stick you guys a the other end' and sent us with another employee down to make that happen. so we had really good ADA seats and no one directly next to us (the supervisor said ADA was sold out, but our section had maybe....4? 5? ADA couples, including us) - so we had a lot of breathing room and didn't feel boxed in by other attendees like we would've on the lawn (which was insanely packed) or in a regular seat



the concert was great! i don't know a lot of cudi's discography, but i have a couple favorites ('grave'!!!!), but the energy was awesome!




all of my photos are potato quality, but the videos i got have good audio on them lol minus the ones where i'm singing X3 since i wasn't as invested in cudi, i was able to record a lot for tony to have



we also spent time complaining about big boi opening and doing, like, 3-4 outkast tracks and how they are not nearly as good without andre 3000 performing them. but they were fun to hear, regardless

i had felt grodey the night before and ended up calling off work, and then felt a little bad that i went to the concert later in the day, but then i remember my manager and coworkers do not care lol

april was pretty decent - birthday, a week vacation, florence + the machine with sam, a jaunt to the zoo with the husbeast, lots of cool clouds, lots of stupid cat antics

we went to the zoo yesterday! we hadn't been to the akron zoo in a couple years (i think since we went with chris and sam for a halloween event??), but tony had been wanting to go for awhile and there was finally a nice day to get out and walk around (no trams!). we snagged a zoo pass from my work (we have them for the zoo and for stan hywet, which we haven't been to at all) and spent the afternoon there



it was apparently 'bird fuckin' friday' b/c all the avians were doing courting dances and outright fucking in their enclosures (the condors gave us a....show and the lady amherst's pheasants were dancing around)

i got a really good photo of the bear enclosure that doesn't even look like you're in akron, ohio lol



there's a handful of exhibits closed rn, the aviary b/c of bird flu, and another spot that a new animal is going to be put into, but still a pleasant trip nonetheless - and even better b/c it's free lol (i still spend $16 on chicken strips, fries, and a drink, but they were GOOD chicken strips and fries)

i also bought myself a pin (with the komodo!) and a new pressed penny book b/c my previous one tony got for me from the st. louis zoo is filled up now! (i also got 8 pressed pennies from their machine lol - the komodo one is SO misaligned rn)

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i ended up staying up until, like, 3AM because i've been organizing my itunes/music and i fucked up and accidentally renamed a bunch of artists one thing b/c itunes is fucking stupid so i was fixing that and then finally figured a good way to go thru and check for proper artist naming and such so i can clean up duplicates and all that. got hyperfocused, didn't realize it was midnight and i still needed to grab a bath and all that lol

now i'm sitting at work, waiting for the day to wind down (we close at 5) and then i'm probably gonna hit up angel falls after and try to work on some art x_x

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OH ALSO, shuttled a litter of seven (seven!!!!) kittens off to a rescue last week after we saw the neighbor had been letting them on the porch and they were getting adventurous and migrating OFF the porch. the neighbors' porch sits right at the sidewalk and there's only that and a devil's strip separating the porch from the road so.....

but i told them i'd take them in (they'd been asking randos if they wanted a kitten the last week) and spent the day at work last saturday emailing, like, 40+ rescues in the area and thankfully one very local had space so sam and i went and dropped them off last monday

took a mini-trip up to detroit with friend sam to see....................



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this was a bit of a birthday surprise for me, which is an insanely cool thing for a friend to do and i'm so so so grateful we got the chance to be able to see florence together!!





i had previously spoiled myself for the setlist b/c i wanted to know every song to sing along lol - but she debuted 'perfume and milk' at our show, which is one of sam's favorites off the album! so that's really cool - it's always fun to be at a show that gets a new song played. i think the only track that she's not doing on this tour that i would've LOVED to hear live is 'bedroom hymns' or 'dream girl evil', but if i had to choose, definitely the former lol.

but!!! 'shake it out'! 'seven devils'!! 'king'!!!! 'dog days'!!!!!! i love the stuff off the new album, as well, but i've obviously always wanted to hear some of the 'classics' in person, as well.

before 'perfume and milk' she talked about how they hadn't performed it on the tour yet and she was waiting for the right time and said she was antiquing in detroit and ran into a mother and daughter who were going to be attending the show and the daughter had a 'perfume and milk' tattoo and she took that as a sign to play it while she was there, which is an insanely sweet and cool thing to do

i was also stoked to hear 'you can have it all' live, even though it's clearly a hard song for her to perform (she talks about how she wrote this album in the aftermath of her miscarriage and then had the realization that she'd have to perform them all on tour!) and i would've also been happy hearing 'hunger', but i really love 'you can have it all'. before she performed it, there's a minute or two where the stage is dark and she explains it's so she can get a drink of water and say a little prayer that she can make it through the song

i took a few video snippets (i didn't expect them to come out very well and, while the video itself isn't great, the audio is pretty good in them!) - they're on my bluesky, so you'll have to be logged in to view them

your dazzling pain like diamond rings / you need to go to war to find material to sing
the rot and the ruin, the earth and the worms / the seasons change, the world turns
see i was dead when i woke up this morning / i'll be dead before the day is done




fit check, post-concert. we were wandering around our floor at the hotel to find somewhere to take a nice pic lol



these are a little better images, tho i tweaked it a bit. nixed the mask ('howl' rep!!) b/c i wasn't sure if i'd be able to take it into the arena. added some fake tattoos (the rose you can see in the other pic, as well as a tooth on my left forearm and a decaying crow on my left leg lol), added a strap that looped around my right side, more necklaces/bracelets/rings lol

i scored the top at a goodwill a few weeks back - it was a long men's shirt and ran with the 'i crawled up from under the earth / broken nails and coughing dirt' lyric lol. i wanted to be comfortable, but look aesthetically in line with the vibes lol

i also did a fursona pic the other day of my outfit lol (this'll get posted seperately, too, realized i don't think i've done any art entries in a bit)

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our hotel (the antheneum) was really cute and very interestingly laid out - but i really loved the vibes of the glass blocks around the bathroom (and the bathroom was BIG and had a huge tub) and how the bedroom area was set down some stairs (a pic from the opposite angle from the hotel website). there was a little social/living room style space when you first enter, but we didn't really use it outside of making coffee this morning lol

we also had great weather for the drive there and back (it didn't storm until well after we got home!). our timing for everything was just on point lol - we got to the hotel earlier than anticipated, we were ready well in time to grab the shuttle over to get in line not too far from the doors and the line went FAST (arena security was QUICK, even tho i did have to get wanded b/c i was wearing my jacket + real metal jewelry lol, but it was painless overall). got in the merch line real fast and snagged a shirt (gritting my teeth at $50 for a concert tee but IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE. my mom would tell me, 'it's just paper and dead presidents') - i'm gonna embroider some little stars around our show date



(i would've really loved the tour poster image as a shirt, but alas!)

(belatedly, i embroidered around my tour date!)

The Tower

I’ve had my own journeys with towers and their ilk, but this one is personal to someone else. Still, i love it so.

the tower is sudden, destructive change. that has not changed. but there is kindness after the fear, the terror, the rain of fire. the fear will eventually end. you do not die here. there is a sense that things will be okay after the dust settles and the wreckage is searched through. not that you can see it from the perspective of the actual destruction.

what fury we’re struck with sometimes.

in reverse, this is senseless destruction and violence. there is no certain catharsis. take shelter.

The Traitor

A card that truly just speaks for itself, huh? the traitor is someone who is going to backstab you, or a sign that you are going to backstab someone else.

Depicted best as a holy man, I think. Being a traitor is not as simple as going in with a lie and revealing it later to the detriment of the receiver of your lie. No, it’s being an insidiously deeply entwined part of someone’s life or goals, and revealing that they nor their goals meant a thing to you in the end.

traitors often go into it intending to betray you, but there are plenty of times when that is not the case. Sometimes someone who was part of your love and life had meant it to start, but grew stale in place as time went on. A better chance came along, and they were willing to let you fall for what they wanted, because they failed to tell you their true feelings as things began to fall apart.

Focus on communication with those in your life. betrayal is harder to form when nothing grows stagnant. no reverse here.

The Devil

Oh you bleeding heart you, chase after your inner fire. Your passion! Too often the devil is about another leading you astray, to ‘sin’, to temptation. But this is you, lounging in that chair. This is a devil of passion.

Do not mistake this for the ‘good’ devil, though. It is often when we chase our own passions that we end up hurting another by accident. You didn’t mean to, but you were also so thoughtlessly yourself, in your own hunger, that you didn’t notice.

Take care chasing your fancies. It’s easy to be led astray by your own passions.

In reverse, this is a thoughtless bull, raging and hungry and desiring. You don’t know what you do at all, and you don’t care. This is selfish. It’s not unfair to seek pleasure. it is when it comes at a cost to others alone, and you never give a care to their experience.

The Letter

Communication. That’s it, that’s the card. simply, put forth effort to share your thoughts, your meanings, your intentions in words.

this card often speaks to what you need to do— talk to eachother. if you just give it a try, you’ll find that honest, open communication of what you mean, what you meant, can solve so many issues in your life.

in reverse, it’s the lack of communication leading to issues and misunderstandings. you might be noticing that upright or in reverse it’s basically the same thing, and that’s the thing with communication. two sides to the same coin, and all.

The Three of Disks ⇩

The three of disks is the card of working together to accomplish. It can be more solo, but typically around other people. Work, learning, labor. The putting to use of your skills and talents.

The collaboration aspect of this card is important, it feeds into most readings and relating to other cards in the reading. Remember that in collaboration, everyone brings something important to the table. No contribution is too small to be recognized, and the front-facing attributions are as important as those people don’t see.

In reverse, this is disharmony, working alone when you need others to help. The feeling of things being a little off, not quite in their right place, feeling overwhelmed alone, etc.

(I only left it out for like a minute, I have no idea what happened to this page. Sorry.)

The Magician

People always like this card for the wrong reasons. This dude is a juggler in most cards, just someone who is calmly in all the realms and elements. this is my favorite magician ive stolen. clean, dark, and more than a juggler.

we all have multitudes within us, sometimes in ways we didn’t realize. Magician means you are balancing these multiple selves, your ability to have energy for your work, to have knowledge to direct your work, foundations to work from, and the passion to see it through. It is balance, and when drawn either draws attention to the need for a balanced approach, or your lack thereof. Who is the magician, or who needs the magician’s lessons? That’s what you must determine to read this card well.

if you do reverses, that’s the second option. Lack of balance, of control, of mastery of your approach. The juggled souls drop down to the ground, unheld.

The Moon

The moon is equal parts mystery and misdirection. It obscures the truth of a situation and often has you running in the wrong direction.

In part, the moon is unknowable dream space. respect what it shows you, but do not chase after the paths it shows. this is an illusion, if you take it for truth, you’re truly lost.

Connect what you’ve been doing, what you’ve been chasing, with your intuition. Find meaning in what you were doing, just don’t always take it literally. It can still be a powerful aid in helping you find real answers. Interrogate the strange directions your disillusionment took you.

In reverse, the moon is a heavy burden. you cannot tell the truth from the lies. things feel dreamlike, unclear, uncertain. It always seems other people know the answers you seek, but they do not share it with you. you are already lost on a moon path.

might do these this week for my birthday week