oh, mama raised me well

yesterday was the first nice day i was not working for, so after pathfinder session, i cleaned up the porch some and got a jump on gardening stuff

replanted a bunch of the strawberries. they needed to be pulled from that tiered thing i bought them all in a few years ago. re-utilized the tiered thing for herbs instead, gonna see how that pans out. we have, like, 8-10 strawberry plants now so i'm gonna have to start pawning them off on people lol. especially b/c they branch out and can be snipped to plant fresh (if they were in the ground and not containers, they'd just spread out and take root)

Super Sweet 100 Tomato (seed packet)
Long Sweet Pepper (store bought))
Jalapeno Pepper (previous harvest)
Cherry Bomb Pepper (previous harvest)
Green Bell Pepper (store bought)
Poblano Pepper (seed packet)

Cilantro (seed packet)
Sage (seed packet)
Peppermint (seed packet)
Lemon Basil (seed packet)

Salad Mix (seed packet)
Flavor King Scallions (seed packet)

also hit up home depot last week and acquired a bunch of cheap-ass bricks ($0.48/ea) to edge the garden with. just to make it look nicer, basically. and a bunch of compost/mulch to mix in to my soil b/c i've had the garden there a few years and it needs a bit of a boost. end of last year i gathered a bunch of leaves and worked those into the soil a bit and layered contractors bags over it (which i use for a weed barrier anyhow), so hopefully the decomp of those + beneficial insects and other ground creatures will have helped that process

gonna pull out the black eyed susans from the other side of the yard and do mixed wildflowers and stuff for pollinators/butterflies. the other side is pretty shaded, so can't do more veg over there

things have been.....tiresome

that couple grand from my last semester at kent state when my financial aid ran out (but ksu didn't bother to, like, just cancel my classes, i guess????? cut off my work study, but figured they could wring something out of me) got sent to the attorney general's office (b/c they're a state uni) and is being collected on. debt office told me that they can't do little payments b/c it's easier/quicker to take me to court and get a garnishment of 25% of each pay (works out to roughly $250/biweekly, $500/mo - and it's pre-tax) than let me make payments that work for my financial situation (which is Bad). so i had to make a gofundme to try and get something, anything, even though everyone else i know is as broke as i am

it's either gonna have to end up being garnished (which will last for 10-12 months, $500 each month!!!!) or i'm gonna have to agree to pay that much each month (terrible terrible terrible) b/c i don't really have a way to get $5,000. i can't get any kind of loam b/c my credit score is abysmal. my two credit cards i current have are deeply over their limit, and i don't have, like, a savings or anything like that (how can i???)

i literally just got done paying off another debt (credit card shit from years ago) and thought i was in the clear only for this thing to come through and blindside me

i'm deeply appreciative of the folks who've helped so far, but it's so demoralizing to see some other crowdfunding things get swamped with donations and i'm barely keeping my head above water

it's also frustrating b/c i have $10k in my opers/retirement and i'd be happy to have half of that go to this shit, but i can't access my opers unless i retire (HA!) or leave public service (sure sure quit my job i love yeah okay) and wait two months to be able to cash anything out :|

so i'm just continually retweeting/sharing the gofundme and posting about commissions and shit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

killing me slow, out the window
i'm always waiting for you to be waiting below
devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes
what doesn't kill me makes me want you more
🎶

pack it up, i don't panic, batter-batter up
who the baddest? It don't matter 'cause we at your throat
🎶

and when it came, it was stranger than i had ever imagined
no cracking open of heaven
but quiet and still
🎶