oh, mama raised me well

but i don't wanna go to heaven
without raising hell
"a feral possum who knows the ways of right and wrong and chooses wrong just to spite its creator"

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Posts Tagged: 'music'

Oct. 5th, 2025

obliviousally: (possum trashcan)
obliviousally: (possum trashcan)

stuff and wonderfest and showgirl!

obliviousally: (possum trashcan)
the internet is off at the house, so i'm doing the thing i did when i was sixteen and had no at home internet: going to the library

this also means i'm writing this entry pre-emptively at home b/c the library doesn't open until 1pm and it's 10am rn lol

i'm in my feelings about some shitty things said to me this morning, but yesterday was really nice regardless



yesterday tony and i went to wonderfest! it's a little block party kind of thing in our neighborhood (west hill) that they do annually (and they do some other small events at the pocket park there, too). they were doing some artsy workshop things we thought we interesting, so we each signed up for one.

i did indigo dyeing! the folks running it were really nice (students from kent state and a local artist) and everyone tried different techniques on their items (we got a handkerchief and then another item we could pick from the stuff they brought, i did a baggy shirt as my second item). i'm always kinda surprised what DOESN'T catch the dye when you do stuff like this, and how much you kind of have to plot out what you're doing if you want it to look like something specific. i was going for a star with my handkerchief and tied off the points, but did not think to block out the center of the star (as though the dye would just magically know what i wanted and avoid those areas lol), so i ended up with a handkerchief with a bunch of circles (which tony joked looked like anuses jklghdfgld)



for my shirt i wanted, like, one long diagonal swipe across it and rolled it that way specifically and then wrapped it around a dowel. when i unrolled it, the swipe was WAY bigger than i wanted lol - i thought the dye would permeate further. i ended up doing a second dip by just folding the part i wanted undyed and then dipping in the rest of the shirt THEN flipping it over and wringing it out so the dye bled down into the white section. still wasn't QUITE what i was going for, but it was still a fun experience!



tony did the clay and resin workshop and made a cool little heart based on one of his newer OC's/sona's.



afterwards, we went home for a bit and then i popped back out to grab our items (his had to bake and mine had to dry) and went up to highland to get some drink and stop at the library for movies. ended up grabbing the deluxe edition of 'battle angel alita' which, like, I OWN MOST OF in the paperback manga, but it's boxed away somewhere and i haven't read it in decades i think lol. and every time i WOULD read it, i'd still feel lost b/c the writing felt so dense and there were so many footnotes lol. but i committed this time!! i'll have to pick up the other volumes while it's still fresh in my mind

i'm going down to the main library today (the only branch that's open sundays, even tho it's only for four hours and we all have a lot of Opinions™ on that at work) and picking up a bunch of DVD's for tony and i know i'll end up grabbing more shit than i need b/c their graphic novel section is pretty varied



after getting back from highland i came home and got dressed to go see the 'the life of a showgirl' movie theater release thing at the nightlight with sam!

i WAS holding off on listening to the album before going, so it'd be a surprise, but i DID cave and listen to it earlier in the day anyhow (sam did the same lol) - kinda glad i did b/c they played the clean lyrics at the theater (which makes sense tbh) and the difference for some of the lyrics is STARK (clean is good for some tracks, explicit is good for others, some are fine either way).

but it was a fun little experience - the audience was chill (and there weren't too many folks, the nightlight is a small arthouse theater so it wouldn't've been packed like a regal or something) and we didn't have screaming preteen girls right in our ears x_x i like the idea of artists doing something like this, getting fans together and showcasing their new work, showing us some behind the scenes stuff with the making of a music video. it's just fun to see behind the curtain in that aspect

the album is 'just okay' for me. like, nothing spectacular, nothing terrible. i'll give it some more full listens, like i usually do with taylor swift albums, and some stuff will grow on me. i feel that maybe she really used a lot of her writing juice on TTPD and, yeah, this album was written in a much happier/more positive time of her life - a blossoming new relationship, the implied 'closing the chapter' on a lot of her previous subject matter (with TTPD's conclusion), but coming off of the tails of TTPD, it doesn't feel like it has as much depth to me (or even for me! and that's also fine lol)

i really love the first three tracks on the album, tho, and the chorus for 'ruin the friendship' has been stuck in my head. i also unironically love 'CANCELLED!'. 'eldest daughter' was kind of a let down, but i've had hayley williams' 'kill me' on repeat and it's a stronger eldest daughter type track lol. it kinda feels like taylor saw a bunch of artists writing eldest daughter stuff and wanted to jump in b/c she, too, is an eldest daughter, but i don't think the vibes are QUITE the same (or, also, it's just not relatable to ME lol). i feel a lot of the tracks, as a whole, are a bit too rhyme-y tho. not the end of the world, just noticable

i'm thinking about going back thru her albums and tracking the songs that i've deemed favorites just to see which albums i've vibed with more vs. the ones i'm just kind of 'okay' about. could be a fun little 'no internet' project lol



other than that, things have been going. still doing grand jury duty, so i'm only physically at work maybe once or twice a week rn. and this week, not at all i believe! i have court all week and endo appointment (thyroid surgery stuff followup) on friday. i'm off on wednesday, which is lame b/c i was aiming originally to be off on saturday, but my manager is.....................difficult.

this also reminds me i need to put my schedule on the calendar....

May. 8th, 2025

obliviousally: (in the chaos and calm)
obliviousally: (in the chaos and calm)

stuff and the crane wives!!!

obliviousally: (in the chaos and calm)


sam and i FINALLY got to go see the crane wives after missing grabbing tickets for them when they came to cleveland LAST year!!!!

the venue, globe iron, was formerly a couple different clubs/bars/venues in the past. it's been very nicely rehabbed, big open concert space, but still small and intimate enough. also my first time, like, DOWN in the flats, as well lol. i've been to jacobs pavillion once upon a time to see taking back sunday with angie, but that was a decade and a half ago lol

but the vibes were really nice (a LOTTT of pretty queer/neurodivergent folks there), everyone was dressed cute, i got us a decent middle of the audience spot (wanted to get closer to the stage, but it wasn't happening lol, and we'd waited to check out the merch table first/during the opener (i bought a set of pins lol)). speaking of the opener - cristina vane - she was very good and i'll have to check out her discography

i reeeeeeeeeally was hoping for 'take me to war', but we DID get both 'metaphor' and 'tongues and teeth' (as the second encore)!! as well as the vast majority of songs being ones i like or, at least know the lyrics to, lol. they're SO good live, which i knew already, and i always love the vibes of singing with a crowd


setlist snagged from reddit, and a spotify playlist

scars / allies or enemies / mad dog / pretty little things / metaphor / higher ground / steady, steady / the moon will sing / river rushing / black hole fantasy / never love an anchor / arcturus beaming / curses / sleeping giants ~~ the hand that feeds / tongues and teeth


i also looked cute lol and i did NOT fuss with how i tied my shirt ALL NIGHT and i didn't end up pulling my hair all up until we were in the car driving back home lol. sam and i were also on the same wavelength (we did not get a pic together, we were hoping for, like, a sign for the venue or something but there wasn't really anything) in all black + dangly-ass earrings lol



i am lowkey kinda exhausted - so much jumping and scream-singing lol - but i was happy my voice didn't get fucky. since my thyroid surgery it can kind of crack when i sing and it's mildly annoying (i also can't hit notes as high as i could before, not that they were good, but sometimes i could pitch up better lol), but i hadn't even thought about it until, like, halfway thru the concert lol

on the drive back, we played the songs we were sad they didn't play and sang loudly in the car



yesterday was ALSO chaotic af b/c i had completely forgotten that i needed to renew my license this year and neither tony nor i remembered until i got mail about it and then i was like 'okay i'll do it on payday np!' and i went out yesterday to the weed store to get a cart for tony and got turned away b/c my id was expired gldhkflgkdfhg so THEN i was like 'well, shit, i don't know if i'll need it for tonight i don't plan on drinking but what if i need to be id'd for the venue?????' so i went and gathered my papers up to upgrade to the compliant/real id and the dmv was SO busy b/c yesterday the policies went into effect about flying and needing a compliant id so i was there for an hour, but my actual transaction only took maybe 10mins if that. my photo is bad, as they seem to have nicer cameras every year that reveal your true age, but i didn't have to pay for it. so that's fine, it's done now lol

Apr. 7th, 2024

obliviousally: (empty)
obliviousally: (empty)

it burns because it must // an ancyn playlist

obliviousally: (empty)



a promise made with twisted fingers behind my back )

Jan. 1st, 2024

obliviousally: (leather jackets and cigarettes)
obliviousally: (leather jackets and cigarettes)

end of year faves - music

obliviousally: (leather jackets and cigarettes)
spotify may have called out me being a swiftie for the, like, sixth year in a row, but i do listen to other music lol

🎶 jeremy messersmith - 666
Feel the breath inside your body
warm and free
If you want to close your eyes and
count to three
Know that you are perfect how you are
You don’t need a halo or a harp


🎶 Graveyardguy - Final Girl (feat. Slayyyter)
I hear you breathing, baby
Been chasing you all night
Think it'd be fun to see if you can make it through the night
And now you're screaming, baby
The calls are from inside
Are you the final girl? The one who makes it out alive


🎶 Taylor Swift - Lavender Haze
I feel the lavender haze creeping up on me
Surreal
I’m damned if I do give a damn what people say


🎶 The Crane Wives - Nobody
There's a shadow at the back door
Something's moving in the shed
She lights cigarettes like lanterns
For the darkness in my head


🎶 Christabelle Marbun - salvation
I'll deny you of salvation
I'll be the reason you repent
Kiss me like I'm a conviction
Beg for divinity in my breath


🎶 Blaqk Audio - Infinite Skin
Well I've got a growing, got a growing list
And the names to kill are the same to kiss
And if you look deadly you'll make it


🎶 Coyote Kid - Femme Fatale
We placed a gamble with our hands on our hearts
Made a blood-pact deal 'til death do us part
I knew his heart was mine
But his soul was sour inside


🎶 Paris Paloma - labour
Who fetches the water
From the rocky mountain spring
And walk back down again
To feel your words and their sharp sting
And I’m getting fucking tired


🎶 Hozier - Eat Your Young
Start carving, Darling
I want to smell the dinner cooking
I want to feel the edges start to burn


🎶 The Happy Fits - Mary
Mary's an animal, as sick as they come
Taste of a cannibal, on top of her tongue
She'll fill you with loving and drink out your blood
She’s trying to kill me but I just want your—


🎶 Sarah and the Safe Word - The Louisville Shuffle (RIP)
I have found no mercy in these old bourbon hills.
The wind has always been a part of my life
and I can feel it still.


🎶 Haunted Like Human - Run Devil Run
Some say they’ve seen her working, most just hear in the dead of night
It’s a howling in the wind they say, like it’s calling for a fight
She don’t come just when you call her but she’ll be there when there’s need
‘Cause she’s there to hunt the devil down, yea she wants to see him bleed


🎶 Taylor Swift - Hits Different
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl


🎶 Olivia Rodrigo - bad idea right?
and i’m right here
with all my friends
but you’re sending me your new address
and i know we’re done i know we’re through
but god when i look at you


🎶 Haunted Like Human - Soothsayer
In the chaos and calm
Cut a slash cross your palm
Promise blood, it poisons your heart


🎶 Taylor Swift - Is It Over Now? (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault)
Think I didn't see you?
There were flashing lights
At least I had the decency
To keep my nights out of sight
Only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs
And my whispered sighs


🎶 JACK THE STRIPPER, The Byrds - PHANTASM
Just want someone to take me for coffee
Watch me, watch you, watching a movie
I can see you smelling my perfume
Med organizer, DBT binder
Dump my body where they'll never find her
Flowers on my corpse, let's watch them bloom


🎶 Dirt Poor Robins - Enchanté
From chagrin I've been released
Paint me in a portrait sans
The fig leaves, fig leaves
And I will not be concerned
Or ignore the things I yearn
My hunger is the rule
I cannot overturn


🎶 The Crane Wives - October
Come my dear and drink while the water's still cold
I am naught but a scar upon your breastbone
So kiss me quick, steal every secret I keep
You can have anything that you want from me


🎶 Charming Disaster: Blacksnake
The power that protects me is a circle made of salt
But when you come to get me I won't feel a thing at all
The vultures that surround me ride the thermals up on high
Yeah, ever since you found me I'm afraid that I might die


🎶 The Velveteers - Charmer And The Snake
You’re lying in the grass now
Your old familiar way
I see you slither past now
Trying to get away


🎶 Kriill - Green Jewels
You’re standing there a face on your shame
With green jewels
If we make believe and I believe you
Who would be the fool


🎶 Cosmo Sheldrake - Come Along
There’s no such thing as time to kill,
nor time to throw away,
So once for the bright sky,
Twice for the pig sty,
Thrice for another day.


🎶 The Huntress and Holder of Hands - Shake off Your Flesh
Beneath my breasts
There burns a fire
Of blood and flesh
Of sound and wire
It won't be quenched
'Till I retire
From wretchedness
That dark desire


🎶 Kiki Rockwell - Burn Your Village
I could tell your mother bout that night you held my drink
What I wouldn't give to empty you into my sink
You can think you own me 'cos you pay to see my loins
But I'm the one who's naked with a pocketful of coins


🎶 Rainbow - Catch The Rainbow
We believed
We'd catch the rainbow
Ride the wind
To the sun
And sail away


🎶 Zach Bryan - Something in the Orange
It'll be fine by dusk light I'm telling you, baby
These things eat at your bones and drive your young mind crazy
But when you place your head between my collar and jaw
I don't know much but there's no weight at all


🎶 Bryan Dunn - Animal Skin
I can see it in their eyes
They're coming for you, honey
Painted faces, sharpened knives
Do you think it's funny?
If you dress it up, you'll have to break it in
But you never look better then when you wear your animal skin


🎶 The Last Dinner Party - Nothing Matters
Even when the cold comes crashing through
I’m putting all my bets on you
I hope they never understand us


🎶 Kiki Rockwell - Same Old Energy
A healing touch, a naked breast, sage and skin of snake
No matter what the good you did, you'll wind up at the stake
She's a highway wreck but you can't look away
Might haunt you for days, and yet your eyes stay
On her sweet flesh right where shoulder meets wing
On the burnt grass everywhere she has been
Tags:

Dec. 1st, 2023

obliviousally: (Default)
obliviousally: (Default)

pic-a-day november 2023

obliviousally: (Default)
i don't have much to say about november. it was long and yet somehow it's suddenly december. it was a slog, but d&d and thanksgiving were nice, as was getting to see the era's tour movie with sam


305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334

Nov. 4th, 2023

obliviousally: (ally pox)
obliviousally: (ally pox)

and when we go crashing down, we come back every time

obliviousally: (ally pox)
yesterday was staff development day for work - which is TECHNICALLY work, but doesn't REALLY feel like it b/c all the buildings are closed and we meet up at main for some presentations and breakout sessions and stuff. so it's all real casual and we get to catch up with folks from other branches and people we don't see on the regular

i like it, some folks don't, but even with having to wake up a half hour early (we get out early, as well), it's kinda fun lol. i also bullied myself into getting up early enough to get a coffee treat from chameleon cafe (pumpkin chai) and a bagel (with honey pecan cream cheese - very tasty). the weather was nice, too, which definitely helped the situation

mostly!!!! because of the 'book and crannies' breakout, where we get to explore all the unseen/usually inaccessible areas of the library. like the roof!



first three are from the roof, overlooking the city buildings (and the big library sign). the fourth one is mezzanine on the third floor near the admin offices (originally done as break areas for staff, but folks discovered the city noise and the geese that like to nest there made it not ideal for that lol)

the selling point of this breakout session, though, is THE GARGOYLES (grotesques, actually, they're not water spouts). they were on the old schumacher/quaker oats factory downtown and were gifted to the library when the building was demolished in the 30's in hopes they could be displayed somehow, one day. so far, no dice. the library has a post about them here on fb



also, the sub-basement reminds me of 'home' (the basement at the ksu library lol)



also! there's an artesian spring under the building! there's a room in the sub-basement where you can actually look down into it - it's crystal clear~



after work, friend sam and i went to ✨𝓔𝓡𝓐𝓢 𝓣𝓞𝓤𝓡 𝓜𝓞𝓥𝓘𝓔✨



sam is the catalyst for me ending up this way about taylor swift lol - she got tickets for the rep tour and chris (her husband) had to work, so she asked if i wanted to go and i'm ALWAYS up for a concert, even if i'm not INTO whoever is playing and i'd been liking what she was putting out for 'reputation', so hell fuckin yeah

we waffled between two theaters and figured we'd get more of a concert-ish experience in one with some more folks in it (kent's theater had a whole row reserved, but was otherwise empty) - and while we were down below/closer to the screen, the seats at the theater in cuy falls were SO NICE and reclined a decent bit, so it wasn't too bad

i think we DID NOT anticipate (or remember lol) that there's a LOT of preteens/teens who're taylor fans (most fans we know are, of course, adults lolol) and had to remind myself 'i remember what it was like being 12-14' repeatedly b/c LORDY some of the energy there was firmly concert energy and not 'friday evening at the cinemark' energy, even with it being a ~concert film~

i know my mom wants to see it, so when i go to see it with her i think we'll be a little more strategic lol

but i went in MOSTLY blind to the setlist. i didn't look it up beforehand, i know she was opening the tour with 'cruel summer' (fuck yeah), and knew/expected some of the tracks she was absolutely gonna do (obv the long version of 'all too well'). sam was like 'you have far more self control than i do' lol, but she also went to the detroit show a few months ago, so she already knew the main setlist

I DIDN'T EXPECT 'TOLERATE IT'. fuck u, taylor

(i've barely listened to most of 'evermore' b/c, when it came out, i was having a Bad Time and some of the tracks Were Not Helping)

but the performance of 'tolerate it' was PEAK. A+ NO NOTES

the whole thing was great, tho. it's nice to be able to focus on OTHER stuff going on with her sets, as well! i love watching her dancers and backup singers (also holy shit the diversity!!!). it gives you the opportunity to really appreciate the production value and the choices made for the tour and the visuals and stuff that you aren't able to as well at an actual concert where everything is HAPPENING (and isn't filmed in HD lol)



now, i'm home alone! tony went out to a local comic con with friend jeff, so i'm doing some tidying around the house and trying to clean the porch a bit since the weather is so nice this weekend and the sun is out!! i also need to pull the garden up at some point, as well, since it SNOWED earlier in the week, so that's about the end of it now

Jun. 25th, 2023

obliviousally: (ally pox)
obliviousally: (ally pox)

i have found no mercy, in these old bourbon hills

obliviousally: (ally pox)
still trying to make an attempt to try and post here more (failing). the instantaneous-ness of twitter/insta/whatever is a real draw lol. i gotta sit down and upload images, write a post, kind of get my thoughts in order instead of just spitting off whatever's on my mind

i think i need both, tho, tbh lol



work is STILL recovering from the ransomware attack. they're basically having to rebuild backend stuff from scratch. as of this past saturday, we still don't have printing from staff computers, but almost all the public pc's are back up. but still no color printing, no scan to email from the copiers, etc. a lot of interoffice extensions are still down, as is our intranet. it's been a ride, for sure






last weekend, we went to the botanical gardens in cleveland for friend sam's birthday - tony and i had never been (surprisingly!), so it was nice little trip. i was very enamored by all the grown over archways and hidden paths and treehouses and YOU COULD CATCH THE FROGS IN THE POND IN THE CHILDREN'S GARDEN FLGKDJGLDJ which is exactly what friend chris and i did when we discovered this information

afterwards, we hit up the only culver's in the area on the way home





i got my contributor copy of 'until it breaks', a zine organized by [personal profile] knifeorchid! i submitted a greyscale variant of my 'marrow made a wife of eve' illustration. you can grab a copy of the zine over here (heed the content warnings)!





quiz that was going around twitter for a hot minute. you can find it here. tracks pretty well for me, tbh. i'm overall comfortable with my gender/body/whatever. i just wanna be, like, a liminal creature basically, but i also don't feel like i need to, like, LABEL that??? idk, i'm just kinda like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯






i had to buy finn a soft cone b/c he's been scratching himself all up behind his one ear and when he has it on, it's just the best thing to watch. he has absolutely zero issues wearing it, i think sometimes he kinda likes it, but it also means just lots of pictures like the above where he's just zoned the fuck out with his one brain cell looking like a jaunty little court jester



i whipped up a neat little brochure for folks to put around anthrocon next weekend (bummed about not being able to go) and hand out at the ohio furs meet on friday



(click thru for full view)


i think they'll be a fun little souvenir lol - inside has info about upcoming meets over the next two months and the outside has info about the local groups and stuff



books and music time!

🕮 The Pervert
🕮 Pinky & Pepper Forever
🕮 Karmen
🕮 It's Lonely at the Centre of the Earth (this was SO good)
🕮 The Passageway
🕮 Friday #1
🕮 Carole & Tuesday Vol. 3
🕮 The Department of Truth, Vol 1: The End of the World
🕮 Ten Days in a Mad-House
🕮 Shubeik Lubeik
🕮 Queenie: Godmother of Harlem


🎶 Sarah And The Safe Word - Old Lace
- - - Give me the strongest stuff you got / I need to feel something again / Before they use me all up

🎶 Kiki Rockwell - Burn Your Village
- - - You do not dance everyday with the fear / Of living in headlights, the hunted, the deer

🎶 The Happy Fits - Mary
- - - But can’t you see you’ve made a terrible mess? / Oh, you feel like a loner, you feel like a lonely little lamb

🎶 Sarah and the Safe Word - The Louisville Shuffle (RIP)
- - - Rest in peace to the me that you had in your head.

🎶 Haunted Like Human - Run Devil Run
- - - Don’t think God’s got any part of it, no holy books or ancient tongues / There’s bottle of fire in her hand, and there’s fire in her lungs

🎶 Taylor Swift - Hits Different
- - - Bet I could still melt your world / Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

Apr. 4th, 2023

obliviousally: (ally head)
obliviousally: (ally head)

there's a shadow at the back door, something's moving in the shade

obliviousally: (ally head)
it's 68F (real feel 78F), the sun is OUT, and i only had to wear ONE jacket on my way to work today. its the last day of my week b/c i'm off five days for my birthday!!!

trying to focus on small, good things. trying not to think about the looming financial burden i'm gonna be stuck with for the next year hhhh

not planning on doing anything for the birthday (big four-oh...), just hoping the weather stays nice so i can prep the garden and plant stuff and clean the porch up, mostly (well, some more, at least). play some destiny, maybe buy a fancy cake slice or something.

might also get a nice storm tomorrow, but hoping it doesn't hit until the afternoon b/c tony has an mri in the morning

i bought two little things for myself for my birthday:


possum + worm





book and music stuff of late~

🕮 Season of the Bruja, Vol. 1
🕮 What’s The Furthest Place From Here?, Vol. 1: Get Lost
🕮 Bathe the Cat
🕮 Chainsaw Man, #3
🕮 The Velveteen Rabbit
🕮 Chainsaw Man, #4
🕮 Carole & Tuesday, Vol. 2
🕮 The Nice House on the Lake, Vol. 2
🕮 Creepy Cat, Vol. 1
🕮 Stephen McCranie's Space Boy, Volume 14

🎶 Blaqk Audio - Infinite Skin
- - - Well I've got a growing, got a growing list / And the names to kill are the same to kiss / And if you look deadly you'll make it

🎶 Paris Paloma - labour
- - - Apologies from my tongue / Never yours / Busy lapping from flowing cup / And stabbing with your fork

🎶 The Crane Wives - Nobody (Live at @ Dogtown Studio)
- - - Kill the moon beneath my window / Pull the covers tighter / And hear her voice go swinging like a hatchet through the trees

🎶 Coyote Kid - Femme Fatale
- - - I knew his heart was mine / But his soul was sour inside

🎶 Christabelle Marbun - salvation
- - - Find the light in my voice / Treat us like it’s blasphemy / Pray we don’t get caught

🎶 Paramore - The News
- - - Every second, our collective heart breaks / All together, every single head shakes

🎶 Carly Rae Jepsen - The Loneliest Time (feat. Rufus Wainwright)
- - - I went running but I couldn't catch / Just the shadow of your silhouette

🎶 Rezz - Taste of You (feat. Dove Cameron)
- - - What am I supposed to be when you sink your teeth in me? / 'Cause I live for the way you move, I'd die without the taste of you

Feb. 28th, 2022

obliviousally: (empty)
obliviousally: (empty)

🎶

obliviousally: (empty)
all of the words i've swallowed
all of the sharp things i've kept in my mouth
i am always bleeding out